Korean flu and horizontal type mask tool... by our powers combined

So little did I know on Tuesday morning as I was chatting blithely with Carrie and whining about a sore throat that I was about to be stricken with my first real illness of my life in Korea. And let me tell you... it was a doozy. I'm glad that I didn't blog about it anytime in the last two days, because if I had, it would have been a litany of whining and death wishes. Whereas now, on Thursday morning, with only a sore throat remaining and another full day off from school to rest, I can blog about it with far more perspective.


It basically sucked hard. Tuesday I woke up feeling sucky with a sore throat and decided to go to school a little late. My throat still felt crappy when I got to school after my 25 minute walk, and by 3rd period I felt bad enough to appeal to my class for sympathy. This was one of the few positives to come out of my being sick. I only taught one class on Tuesday, a second grade. (They're my second-to-worst class.) Tuesdays are my teach out of the Korean textbook (repeat after me and the textbook software kill me now) days, which obviously was not going to work since I couldn't talk without pain. So I wrote on the board in broken Korean "Please act well and be kind today. My throat really hurts." The two second grade classes are the only ones I ever have problems with, and only on Tuesdays, when I have to teach meaningless dialogues from the book rather than my own lessons. But the only two days I've been reduced to tears in the classroom have been Tuesdays, although both times with the other 2nd grade class. Usually I just get frustrated. I've appealed unsuccessfully to their good natures before, but surprisingly, it worked this time. They were really... good.


I asked one boy, who I love to pieces but who isn't a very good student, to go fill my cup with water before we started (while the co-teacher was beating the kids who didn't have their homework... awesome [/sarcasm]), which he did enthusiastically, so I gave him a lollipop, because he really does try hard. And the material for Tuesday, although painful, did at least allow me to make a few small connections to real life which the students appreciated. And although I couldn't translate it into Korean, I could act out a decent amount of it, so while Mr. Kim translated mostly for my lollipop student, lollipop student was like "I got it!" (in Korean). It was cute. And they repeated enthusiastically, and didn't talk while I was talking, and didn't complain that we didn't play a game. My little angels.

But things started to devolve after that. I had no class fourth period, so I intended to just rest in the English room, but that was thwarted when I had to go outside to take a teacher picture. I nearly burst into tears sitting there, so I can only imagine what an attractive picture it was. Then I went back to my classroom and started getting the shakes, at which point I did start crying, because I realized that I had a fever and that I definitely really was sick, which just wasn't something I wanted. So I sat in my classroom and cried until a student came in and found me. I was crying because my throat and head and neck were killing me, but also because I just didn't want to be really sick this far from home. I mean... it was inevitable, but I didn't want it to happen right then.

At which point I got it together enough to walk to the Teacher's Office and tell my co-teacher I couldn't teach anymore. I kept apologizing (because Korean teachers never go home, and they come to school no matter how sick they are), and I think she thought I was crying because I was apologizing, but I was crying because I was miserable. So she drove me home, and then we took off in search of a hospital. I don't understand it, but Korean people always go to the "hospital." The hospital we went to looked just like a regular doctor's office though, with one doctor, so what gives? But although she dragged me all over Naju (and creation), all the "hospitals" were having lunch hour, so I didn't get to see a doctor. So she took me to the pharmacy and kept telling the guy I had a cold (what?), so he gave me... an antibiotic? What?

At this point I've personally diagnosed myself with either the flu or strep throat, probably the flu, because I'm so shaky and dizzy that if I have to walk around anymore I'm going to collapse. So she sends me back to my house with a slip of paper and tells me to go back to the nearest hospital after 4. (By myself? Are you kidding?) I somehow made it up the stairs to my house and collapsed in bed, at which point I must've just passed out. Host mom woke me up about an hour later and took me to the hospital again (kill me now).

There were several reasons I was dreading going to the Korean hospital. I didn't want to have to interact with someone who didn't fully understand me about something as important as my health. I don't mind not really knowing what's going on 99% of the time, but when it comes to something like this, I don't want to wing it. Plus, I just know that the Korean medical system is crazy in some ways. Like, people go to the "hospital" for colds, and get like, 5 pills. Antibiotics, and mostly vitamins. Dumb. I've also heard that the doctor will often not even examine you... just ask you what your symptoms are and then give you some pills.

But... I had to go. I sat in the waiting room miserably, and then was pleasantly surprised to meet the doctor, who at least knew the English words for all the common symptoms of the flu. He looked in my throat and said... "very inflamed." (No shit.) He was like "Muscles sore?" (Yep.) "Fever?" (100.3) Then he said a bunch of stuff in Korean to my host mom and then... injection. To which I responded "Whoa whoa whoa... what?" He noticed the horrified look on my face, and was like, "No? It'll make you feel better." And host mom was like, Don't give me that shit, buck up and take it (in Korean). So I got a shot in the ass, which actually didn't hurt too badly, and which improved my throat for a whole day. I was perplexed, because they gave me the meds in pre-separated little baggies, without the bottles, and I didn't actually see a list of the names of the 5 things he'd given me (although I made a point to tell him I was allergic to amoxicillin).

Then I went back to bed and curled up again. I was worried because I didn't have any of the old American-style flu-fighting standbys--gatorade, popsicles, jello, so I called Meghan and asked her to make a special delivery, which she did. I was skeptical, but host mom pleasantly surprised me at dinnertime. "Briy... do you like soup?" Me: *cringe, because I hate all Korean soups* Host mom: America soup? She'd gone to the store and bought some stuff that pretty closely approximated cream-broccoli-beef stuff, and tasted really good. I felt okay on Tuesday night for awhile. The throat pain had subsided a lot, thanks to the shot, and the soup was delicious. But because I'd been in and out of consciousness all day, Tuesday was a terrible night. I woke up roughly every fifteen minutes hoping three hours had passed. I just kept drinking painfully and peeing. It was terrible. Thankfully I never personally had to make any decisions about when I would go to school... my host mom just called my teachers and decided for me that I wasn't going.

Wednesday morning I was feeling pretty bad because of a shitty night and my throat being terrifically hurting. I also began to panic during the wee hours of Wednesday morning that I'd in fact guessed wrong and that I had strep throat, and thus, wasn't going to get better until I went back to the doctor and got a whole new set of drugs. Yesterday is mostly a blur. I spent most of the time lying in bed next to my computer watching Daily Show videos. Meghan made another delivery. Host mom was really sweet... she made me soup for every meal and brought it to me on a tray and sat there while I ate it. I had to put up with some annoying stuff, like host mom and co-teacher telling me it's because I wear short sleeves and thin skirts at school that I'm sick, which is just ridiculous. I did not catch virus or bacteria from my clothing choices. Plus, all of my school clothes are short sleeved! I have jackets that I wear outside, but I get hot wearing them while teaching.

I forced myself to stay awake as much as possible yesterday so that I'd be tired when I went to bed, although my throat hurt really bad. I discovered yesterday that my throat hurts most badly on one side, which is weird. And it's a weird kind of pain. Just like my throat is really swollen which makes it difficult and painful to swallow. Okay, that sounds just like a description of all sore throats. But it's different, I swear. I drifted off for a little while yesterday evening and woke up drenched in sweat. Like, literally the whole front of my shirt was covered in sweat, which prompted host mom to call the doctor again and make an appointment for this morning. But I felt a little better, and changed clothes and went to bed. I slept almost all the way through the night, and it was amazing.

I was disappointed to wake up to find that my throat still hurt. (Side note: today's absence was especially difficult to swallow [get it?] because it's Thursday, so I'm missing my favorite school! Yesterday sucked to miss too, because it's my favorite day at Noan, but there was no way I could have hacked four classes yesterday. Today, I might've pulled it off, but the problem is that if you can't talk, you can't teach conversation!) Host mom and I went to the doctor again, and I got another shot in the ass and some more pills. This one hurt a lot more, and has yet to yield the same amazing anti-inflammatory results. He looked into my throat and said "mm... aggressive tonsilits." At which point I was irrationally afraid he was going to suggest surgery, but thankfully he didn't. Whew.

So yeah... now I have another full day (well, it's 2pm now) to rest and recover before tomorrow, when nothing is stopping me from going to school! :) I miss my kids waaaaay much. Maybe the best part of being sick was the awesome internet messages I got. All of them were cool, but I especially like the ones I get from boys who are aloof and too cool for school in school, but then sweet via cyberspace.

"Briy... are you okay? 괜찮아요?"

"briy. be missed. ㅠㅠ"

"fastly restore!"

And then some that just say "Get well quickly" in Korean. I was able to decipher the korean for "with camp teacher absent english class no fun," and it warmed my heart. On a semi-related note, I had another surprisingly effective and honest conversation entirely in Korean with one of my boys a couple days ago. He asked me how I was, and I said I was annoyed because of the Noan students.

SI: Noan students bad?
M: Yes, so Thursdays and Fridays are my favorite days, because I come to Dongkang.
SI: Thursdays and Fridays are my favorite days too.
M: Why?
SI: Briy's class.
M: But you don't like English.
SI: I don't like English, but I like Briy.
M: Liar.
SI: Really!
M: Thanks. :)

But then our converation went downhill a bit when he was like: "Do you know horizontal type mask tool?" Now, I scrounged every inch of my brain for what he could possibly be talking about, but couldn't come up with anything. I tried asking for context, but he was like forget it. And I'm like... what? So I did what I always do, and googled it, but I didn't expect any results, because I figured he was just drunk or something. My bad. Photoshop. Of course. But I couldn't be any help in that department. To quote him: Photoshop... difficult (even for English speakers.)