New bling, day 3 of the EC, and MEXICAN food!

First and foremost, I'd like to direct your attention to that shiny new bling on my sidebar. Oh, I'm sorry... it already blinded you? My bad. :)

So I got on the scale this morning with more than a little trepidation, but lo and behold, I was rewarded with an all-time low to help me get May off to a good start. I'm down 2.2 pounds from last Saturday and a total of... 60.1. So yeah, I barely squeaked in there, but I've been waiting so long for that badge (32 days, to be exact) that I'm claiming it as soon as possible.

To backtrack a bit... things have been going well. :) I started off May on Thursday with a perfect day (2 exercise stickers and an on-plan eating sticker). Friday I succumbed to a little snacking temptation, but still earned my minimum cardio sticker. And today felt great. I woke up early and went for my run on the actual race course (more on that later). It was 85 degrees, so I worked up quite a sweat, and I had to walk 20 minutes to the start and 20 minutes from the finish, so I was pretty worn out by the time I got home. But it felt great. I'm feeling really good about the Exercise Challenge (EC), and watching those total minutes increase on my spreadsheet.

When I got home, M and I decided to try making burritos. We'd been planning on saving it for after the 5k, but today seemed as good a day as any. She had bought a can of refried beans in Seoul, and my tortillas were going out-of-date, so we bought some lettuce, onion, and cheese and gave it a try. We were worried it wouldn't be delicious, what with the tortillas tasting a little funny and the lack of what I'd previously considered Mexican meal staples (meat and salsa), but they actually ended up being really delicious.

I spent most of the day around the house, but this evening around 7:30 I headed over to the gym. I hadn't done a full weight training workout for two weeks, thanks to being sick and my pulled back muscle, so I was hoping to really work hard tonight, and I definitely did. My back wasn't bothering me at all, so I kicked my own butt, and thanks to the hot weather, I sweated a lot. I did my first special ab workout for the EC, and the planks especially were killer, so hopefully I'll see some serious results at the end of the month. I measured myself today for that purpose. I always have a hard time with doing measurements, because I have a hard time remembering (or indicating in my notes) where I measured, and then I don't know exactly what to do... Should I try to be as natural as possible? Pull my abs in? So today I just did the smallest part of my waist and the biggest part, as I figure that'll be the easiest to replicate at the end of the month.

Smallest: 86.5 cm

Largest: 100.5 cm

I really wish I'd measured myself when I started, but this is the first time I've done it and recorded it, so hopefully I'll see some substantial changes on May 31.

Lynne asked me a question on my last post which I'm going to go ahead and answer here. :) I've written about it before, but it just helped me so much that I want to do it again. One thing that my Complete Idiot's Guide to Weight Loss suggested was to come up with a mantra for yourself. They encourage you to choose one for yourself, but the idea behind it is affirming that you are already at your goal weight. Not affirming that you can do it, but affirming that you already have. I pretty much just appropriated their sample: "I, Briy, am now a healthy and thin person. I wear a size 8, and I do what healthy and thin people do."

I am a healthy and (relatively) thin(ner) person now, that much is true. I'm not quite yet a size 8, but truly, after thinking this everyday for so long, I sometimes forget that. And the last part, as I've said before, is my favorite. It really helps me to think this way--to think of myself as one of those healthy and thin people I always envied before, and to remind myself to act like them. This alone has helped fight off a lot of cravings, when I say to myself: "Would a healthy and thin person do this? Would someone with a healthy relationship with food do that?" Obviously it doesn't stop me all the time, but it's a big help. So yeah, I just write my mantra in a notebook 8 times every morning. It doesn't take long, but it reminds me, every morning, why I'm doing this. And tomorrow will be day 60. It's nice to be able to flip back through it and see that I did something everyday for the past two months, especially as there are very few other things I can honestly say I've stuck to for that long.

I'm not sure, but I really feel like this has played a BIG part in my recent success. I guess, from a strictly numbers standpoint, that must be true. I've lost 12.7 pounds in 2 months (since March 1), and it took me a full year before that to lose 48. More than anything, I think it just keeps me FOCUSED, every single day, which inevitably helps breed good results on the scale. As part of my goals for May, I'm adding a step. From now on, every day, I'm also going to write down 3 victories from the previous day. They're not necessarily weight loss related, and often they're really small, but that doesn't matter. It's helped me, so far, just to focus on the positive for 5 minutes a day, when more often than not I find myself harping on what I did wrong instead. So yeah, that's my mantras book, in a nutshell. I hope you find it helpful, Lynne! :)

And now, a brief synopsis of today's run:

Today was #2 out of my last 8 runs before the big RACE day, and my plan was to run on what I believed to be the actual course of the 5k, in order to get an idea of how much I need to speed up my pace in order to finish the whole thing in my goal of 33 minutes. That's not quite how it worked out though. I set my alarm to go off after 32 minutes and started running. It was hot, and I was tired by the halfway point, but I just kept on trucking. As I started to approach the "finish line," I was still waiting for the alarm to go off. I even started to wonder if I'd missed it somehow. When I got back to my starting point and looked down at my iPod, however, I was shocked to see that I'd only been running for about 26 minutes. This does not, unfortunately, mean that I'm running sub-9 minute miles, I'm sure. :) It means that I must not be running the entire race route, which is not a huge surprise, as I'm guesstimating where exactly I should be starting and finishing. Either way I was happy with the run, but it means I'll have to find another way to figure out what speed I'm running at and work on adjusting my pace. There's a track at the local university which I've previously shied away from, because there's often students on it, or playing soccer on the field inside of it. But next Saturday I figure I'll get up early and do my run there, which should, theoretically, be way more precise than today's effort. We'll see how that goes!

Hope you're having a wonderful weekend! :)

HYC #7: Net loss for month that won't be named, and other mini-victories

Happy Tuesday, everyone! :) 

This feels like the first happy Tuesday I've had in awhile, so I'm pleased. I updated my weight loss ticker at the top to reflect the (premature) end of April, and I'm happy to report that I weigh 1.8 pounds less at the end of April than I did at the beginning. That may not seem like much of an accomplishment, but considering just the sheer quantity of ice cream cones I consumed in the past 28 days, it really is. It also means I only have to lose 7.8 pounds in the next 28 days to accomplish my numerical goal for May, which is far more doable than I'd previously imagined. If I can pull that off, I'll be in the 160s (169.9 to be exact, lol) for school field trip on May 28. It means I really need to buckle down, 'cause I can't afford to go off plan in a serious way at all, if I really want to accomplish it. 

Last night I had a pretty inexplicable mini-binge. I had to buy some chocolate for school, and I had some extra (which is never a good thing). I decided to have just one mini-bar, but then... I didn't stop. (I'll admit that first I typed "couldn't stop," but that's clearly untrue.) I didn't even really taste them... I just ate one after another as if I was some sort of crazed chocolate addict. When I looked at the calorie info, I nearly fainted. Each tiny bar is like 135 calories! I won't tell you how many I ate, but it was a shockingly unnecessary amount, anyway. And the strangest thing is... they weren't even that good! I don't get it. 

Something good came out of it, though, so I'm not beating myself up over it. I woke up this morning at 5:30 intending just to go for a walk, but since my back was feeling pretty okay (just a little tight), I decided to give running a try. (I'll admit that last night's chocolate-fest played into my decision in a large way as well.) I was just shooting for ten minutes... I didn't want to push myself too hard, but I was feeling good after ten minutes, so I went for 15. Fifteen was okay, so I pushed for 20... and so on. Then it was the last song of my 30 minute playlist, so I figured I might as well finish. :) The last song is like 5 and a half minutes long, so it was a little bit of a killer, but I did the whole thing! My back had completely loosened up by then. It was really reassuring to see that I hadn't completely lost all my endurance, which I was (perhaps irrationally) really afraid of. I hadn't run any distance for about 10 days, and this felt a little harder than my last 34 minute run, but I finished it! So tentatively I'm back on my training schedule with 19 days to go before the big race, which sounds good to me. (More C25k ramblings at the end, if you're interested.) 

And now... quote of the week:

"People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents."

Andrew Carnegie

I enjoy this quote for several reasons. First of all, because it comes from such an illustrious source--none other than one of our historical "Captains of Industry." I don't know... I just really like taking statements that, on the surface, have absolutely nothing to do with weight loss, and applying them. For this one, however, I'll have to re-write it slightly: "People (namely Old Briy) who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity to be fat, no matter how impressive their other talents." 

And that's really how I used to feel. I sort of gave up on being able to motivate myself for long enough to see any real change, and I had pretty much accepted that I'd be fat indefinitely. I wasn't content with it, because it made me actively unhappy on a regular basis. But I did a lot of justifying and made a lot of excuses. I figured I had a lot of "other talents" that were more important than wearing a bikini. But for me, having lost some weight is an accomplishment in itself, but it's not the only thing. I'm more proud that I put my mind to something I'd previously thought was impossible and DID it. 

So, once again, happy Tuesday! I hope you have a GREAT week!

Aforementioned C25k Planning Ramblings: 

I'm considering declaring myself graduated from the C25k program... I really wanted to finish it in an official sort of way, but I've run 30+ minutes four times now, so I feel like I've achieved the primary goal of the program. Week 6 was the last week I completed according to the schedule, and now that I feel comfortable running the 30, I don't want to back-track... Especially because I have a sneaking suspicion I'm not running a full 5k in 30 minutes. I don't know how fast I'm running, but I don't think it's the race pace I've tried out on the treadmill. I'd planned, last Saturday, to do my run on the actual race course, but then I couldn't do it at all. So this Saturday I'll make a point to do it and see where I stand. 

Either way, I'm going to try to bump up my running time to 36 minutes in the next three weeks. My goal is to finish in 35 minutes. I'm also going to try to pay closer attention to my pace... I'll start out slow still, because the first ten minutes are always hardest for me. Then I'll try to consciously speed up for the second ten, if possible, then let off for the next 10 minutes, and then finish strong.

I figure, if I run every other day until the race (and then leave a 2-day buffer before the big day), I have 8 more runs. (Eek! That doesn't seem like many at all!) So here's my schedule: 

May 1,3: 32 minutes

May 5,7: 34 minutes

May 9,11: 35 minutes

May 13,15: 36 minutes

May 18: RACE DAY!

Couch to 5k: Week 5 (in summary), and a Weigh-In

First, I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who commented on my last post, and to whichever lovely people recommended it for the Healthy You Challenge page. It feels pretty cool to see my name in big letters somewhere other than here, so thank you very much!

And it's good, I suppose, that I had such a nice ego boost, since I certainly didn't get one from the scale this weekend... ~groan~. This is the first week since March 1 that I've seen a gain (only 0.9 pounds, but still), and it was a rough blow to be dealt after splurging the previous weekend but feeling like I'd been almost perfect for the rest of the week. Even if I'd just maintained, that would have been great, but a gain....? You've got to be kidding me, I said aloud, to no one. I ran a 15 minute interval on Sunday, 20 minute intervals on Tuesday and Friday. I also ran every other day, in case you were curious. And I ate on plan. How could this happen?

It definitely felt like a betrayal. I decided to move forward immediately, of course... I didn't go on a "take THAT, scale!" binge like I've done in the past. (I've commented on far too many little gain disappointment blog entries supportively, and I'm finally learning to take my own advice.) I have a really important to decision to make this weekend, so I'd already decided to wake up at 5am and hike my local mountain, and I'm pleased to say that despite this setback, I was out of my house at 5:15 and on top of the mountain by 6:15. I'd vowed not to come down until I'd made a decision, and I did just that, on the way up actually, and I feel much better about the future now that it's made. It was hanging over me like an axe, but now that it's finished, I feel at peace the way I haven't for a few weeks.

I came home, took a nice long shower, and did a few household things before taking a really satisfying nap. I also had a surprise visit from two of my favorite students, who I took out for pizza, and didn't have a single slice myself. (Where is this self-control coming from?) But now that I've sat down to blog, I'm trying to come to terms with this week's weigh-in so I can put it behind me completely. (I'm also going out with a friend who loves to eat out and snack tonight, so I want to be in a good head space when he arrives.) I'm trying to reassure myself that there seem to be two possibilities... 1) This is just a minor fluctuation, due to the impending arrival of TOM next week; or 2) Despite being on plan, I've been eating too much.

I want to believe it has to do with TOM, so I'm going to give it two weeks and see if those pounds don't come off after he leaves. I think this is most likely, and I refuse to start panicking that my plan has stopped working yet. I'm sure I'm not eating more than I have been for the past few months, and I've upped my exercise a LOT, so I have to believe this will all sort itself out. I'm not sure why a plateau at this weight even scares me so much... I mean, I was ready to stop completely 12 pounds ago, before March Madness. The way I looked in February was such a drastic improvement over how I'd looked one year before (see progress pictures) that it seemed good enough for me. And I've lost even more weight, and at least one pants size, since. I've gotten too small to wear any of the pants I own comfortably (and because I live in Korea, I can't easily get new ones)... so thank God for spring and the elastic waistbands of my skirts. Even if I didn't lose another single pound before going home in July, I will have become a runner, run my first 5k, and am in better shape than I've probably ever been in my adult life. And I feel good.

I guess the progress has just been so amazing these past six weeks that for it to come to a screeching halt like this, especially after a pretty good week, is a little scary. But I'm FINE. This is probably just a flukey week, and even if I have another TOM-inspired flukey week next week, I'll be down on April 26. I'm sure of it. If not, I'll just have to come up with a new plan. It's NOT a big deal. I can do this. I'm just going to keep making the right decisions, one at a time, and not worry about the scale, like I said I would. I'm going to focus on training for the 5k in (eek!) 36 days, and record my NSVs, and as someone else put it... keep on keeping on. I'm proud of myself for rebounding from American buffet weekend so resiliently, and I'm especially proud of myself for the awesomely long runs I put in this week. And I'm excited to do more next week!

This quote is another in keeping with the theme of my last post about motivation, and I really love it:

"Perseverance is not one long race; it is many short races one after another."

Walter Elliott

This week I'm going to focus on the little things. I've got to, with TOM cravings coming. I know I can beat this.

A little bit of everything...

Well, I made it back from my conference alive... but that's about all I can say for myself. 

I guess I'll start with Friday morning, before it all went so wrong. I went ahead and did my Friday weight training on Thursday night, and got up so early (5:30) on Friday morning to do my last Week 4 C25k workout before I had to catch my flight. I'd been really good last week (3 pretty stickers), so I was looking forward to getting on the scale for the first time in 6 days. (That's the longest I've been off the scale in the past 8 months, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be.) 

And when I stepped on the scale on Friday morning, I wasn't disappointed. I weighed in at 177.5, 2 pounds down from the Saturday before. I almost jumped for joy! 

March 1: 189.64
March 8: 186.8 (-2.8)
March 15: 183.7 (-3.1)
March 22: 182.8 (-0.9)
March 30: 179.5 (-3.3)

April 4: 177.5 (-2.0)

There's nothing quite like seeing the desired result after a determinedly on-plan week, and I really believed that accomplished feeling would be enough to get me through whatever the conference threw at me. 

I was mistaken. I should have been more prepared, because I should have had an idea of what to expect. American food buffet... including dessert table. I was really good for breakfast and lunch on Friday, but it all fell apart with cheesecake bites, two bowls of sugary cereal the next morning, and brownie snacks. I managed to regain a semblance of control by the next day at lunch, but the damage was done. That's not to say that I think I regained those two pounds, and I'm not going to detail the overindulgences here. (I already did that in an e-mail to my Mom, and now it's time to forget them. Fucking cheesecake bites.) No, in fact I was better than I would have been in the past, which I consider a success, and I went out for a nice long jog (more on that later) today which I'm sure helped to offset some of the extra calories. 

No, the damage I'm referring to is the damage to my confidence. I've discovered that with the progress I've made in the past few months, staying on plan in my normal life is becoming much, much easier. I'm not counting anything... I'm just staying prepared and eating the right things. But I never realize, or rather, never want to think about, how much the fact that I'm in Korea is determining my weight loss. Only a good-old fashioned American buffet can make me lose my resolve and almost lose control nowadays, but it shakes my confidence that I'm going to be able to keep from over-eating once I go back. 

This is wrong, and un-productive, for a lot of reasons, which I'm going to detail in hopes of nursing my bruised ego. The truth is, I felt gross after over-eating those two meals, and it's not a feeling I'm likely to forget. The food was delicious, but I felt bad emotionally for letting my control slip, and I just felt over-full and unsatisfied. And I would have enjoyed the food just as much in smaller portions. Plus, by day 3 the novelty of tater tots had worn off, and I was able to skip them this morning. (I didn't skip the sugary cereal, but there also weren't bran flakes or oatmeal available.) I have to believe that I'll battle the urge to overfeed on my favorite things for the first few days when I get home, but that, once I realize that sandwiches, Mexican, and Italian food aren't going to be torn from me again, I'll be able to release my death-grip on them and pace myself again. Plus, I am really going to work hard to be at (or extremely close) to goal by the time I go home, so I can throw out all of my clothes and start from scratch with a brand new wardrobe, which will force me to stay in shape. 

Plus, there are so many things that will just be exponentially easier in America, that I'm confident will help to offset the damage I might to do with a little too much (whole-wheat) pasta the first week. Whatever gym I join will have elliptical machines, and probably a whole host of other amazing things, including group fitness classes to keep me from getting bored. The grocery store will have an immense selection of fresh veggies and fruits, and I won't have to scrape the spicy red pepper paste off of them. Grocery shopping will be a pleasure, whether at Publix or elsewhere. 

I can do it. That's what I have to keep telling myself. This was a setback, but it likely didn't do any permanent damage, and I've learned from it. I won't have to face cheesecake bites again for at least 3 months, and by then, I'll hopefully have lost another 25 pounds. I fought the urge to get on the scale again when I got home this afternoon. It's the middle of the day, when I always weigh more, and I don't want to be demoralized. I know I can undo whatever I might have done with some hard workouts and willpower this week, and I really want to make the scale only a weekly event. It's important to me. 

---

So anyway, I finished C25k week 4 last week, so as I was doing my cooldown on Friday morning, I went ahead and looked ahead to week 5. And panicked. The first run is, I think, a repeat of last week, and the 8 minute intervals didn't seem like too big of a jump. Then I saw something that stopped me dead in my tracks. Friday's run... 20 minutes. I stared at it, hoping it was some sort of mistake, but it wasn't. There was a brief period in the past year when I was running 12-15 minute intervals, although I lost that endurance quick when I stopped running for awhile, but I'm sure I've never pushed myself to 20 minutes. That's almost 2/3 of the total time of the 5k, for goodness sake. Are you sure I'm ready for this? I said aloud to Robert Ullrey, and no one in particular. 

And I worried about it all weekend, as I was stuffing my face. But on the plane home today, I felt that steely resolve coming back. I needed a big workout today, both to try to off-set some of the weekend's calorie overdose, and to get myself back in the right headspace. So I decided I'd try running 15 minutes. Somewhere in my head, I know that the only thing keeping me from running longer distances is between my ears. I'm in much better shape now than I was at the beginning, and I'm fairly confident that, if I needed to (or even really wanted to), I could probably run 30 minutes straight. Slow as hell, but I could probably do it, at least once. Physically my legs aren't ready to run that much on a regular basis, that's what the training's for... but sitting on the plane, I became utterly sure that, if I jogged slow enough, I could go for ages, or at least 15 minutes, even though it was actually 3 times as long as my longest interval so far. 

I made my own quick 15 minute playlist, which I think actually contributed to my success hugely, and just did it. Other factors that made it possible: It was about 2pm when I started, and the weather was wonderful... bright and blue-skied, around 63, with a little breeze. I ran really really slowly, and I was tired and mentally ready to stop after the first 5 minute song, but I just kept going, because physically, I was just hitting my stride. When the second song ended and I realized I only had one more to go, I got a little endorphin jump, and the last 5 minutes were almost enjoyable. When I reached the end, I knew I could have continued. I knew I could have done that third week 5 run of 20 minutes right there and then, but I stopped and savored the moment. I'd set my mind to run 15 minutes, and I did it, because I knew I could, and I should. I was so happy I couldn't stop smiling. Because the weather was so great, and it was 2pm on a Sunday, there were loads of people out, and although some technical high school boys leered, and some annoying children giggled and pointed at my shorts, I couldn't possibly have cared less... I was bursting with pride, and ready to let the disappointments of the weekend go without a care. Some random older man gave me a thumbs-up as I ran by, and I gave it right back to him.  I was walking on air. 

I'm sure not all of this week's runs will be so perfect. After this celebratory post, I'll probably face a cold front, a strong headwind and sore shins for all 3 runs this week. But now that I know I can do it, I won't be able to doubt myself. I'll be able to read back over this and remember that when I needed to push myself, and needed to accomplish something, I buckled down and did it. It's the two steps forward I needed for this weekend's one step back, and I've got my forward momentum going again. 

---

Lastly, since I've decided to do some sort of focused writing assignment each week, here's the contract I wrote. The Sparkpeople article that inspired it can be found here. I borrowed liberally from their basic contract, but added some of my own twists. 

My Contract for Success

I, Brittany, hereby agree and commit to take the following steps to improve my accountability to myself and increase my chances for further weight loss success: 

1. I will not let one small slip-up convince me that I've blown an entire day and I might as well binge. I will respect myself by refusing to engage in verbal abuse. I know that there will be times when I make poor food decisions, but I will not dwell on them. 

a) After a slip-up, I will immediately change what I'm doing, and if possible, go for a walk to clear my head. Once the craving has passed, I will attempt to figure out why I gave into it, and put it in perspective. 

b) I will forgive myself out loud for the mistake, and move on. 

c) When I am having a hard time, I will find positive, healthy ways to comfort myself. When I am tempted to binge, I will try these 4 things first: 1. Go for a walk. 2. Read a book. 3. Peruse my weight loss diary. 4. Eat a piece of fruit or some other healthy snack.  

2. I will not sacrifice my own needs to make other people happy. When there is a conflict between my exercise and eating plans and what other people want from me, I will negotiate to find a reasonable solution that allows me to do what I need to do for myself. These days, my health must be my first priority. It's not an option. 

3. I will not let momentary emotional setbacks cause me to doubt my commitment or lose focus. I KNOW that I really really want to lose this weight, and I am determined to continue to be successful and live my healthy lifestyle. I have many, many different reasons for what I'm doing. When I begin to lose motivation or doubt my resolve, I will: 

a) Review my progress. I will log into my blog and look at those numbers and progress photos. 

b) Re-read my list of reasons for wanting to lose weight and look at my vision board. 

Okay, that turned into a really long entry, so if you're still reading, you're a trooper! I hope you had a great first week of April! Good luck! 

Couch to 5k: Week 3, Day 3 and 55 POUNDS!

I'm not writing this entry right after I finished the run, as I'd intended, but two days later. But I'm writing it, which is what's most important, I suppose.

My last week 3 run was also uneventful, which is good. I came home late from work, and had plans to meet friends for dinner and the like, so I had to rush, but I never felt tempted to put it off until Saturday, and I didn't dare try to tell myself I'd do it later, because it was cold as hell at 5:45pm and I knew it would only be worse after dinner. I had only exactly 30 minutes, so I just did the program once through normally. I'd intended to add an extra interval or two on the end, like I did on Wednesday, to make sure I was ready for 5 minutes during week 4, but I didn't have time, so I applauded myself for making time for my workout and rushed in to take a quick shower. It wasn't too hard, but it also wasn't too easy, which I guess is the idea.

My sweet tooth got the best of me after dinner on Friday night, so I ate a little more sugar than I felt good about... especially since the night before (Thurs) was cake for my host father's birthday. But I woke up early on Saturday morning, around 7:30, with the brilliant idea to head to the gym and get a nice run on the treadmill in before leaving for the weekend. T's birthday was the Tuesday before, so we were heading out to visit another friend to celebrate, and I knew that pizza and ice cream were in my immediate future, so I wanted to get a good workout in beforehand to help stave off the desire to overeat. And man, I was feeling pretty good about myself... I stretched and put on my runners and was just walking down the stairs, looking forward to a nice hard run in the heated gym, when I realized that the gym doesn't open until 9 on Saturdays. D'oh!

My disappointment was boundless. But I couldn't, of course, strip OFF my workout clothes and climb back into bed, so I had no choice but to go for a nice run... outside. It was cold, and it sucked, but I was glad I did it. I didn't do C25k again. I listened to my own music and just alternated running and walking each song. I figured I still had the whole weekend to recover, so I wasn't too worried about hurting my legs, but I was pretty careful. I didn't have any pain, and I'm feeling fine now, so it was a success.

Eating this weekend, however, was not. It was a lot better than it might have been, something I'm proud of, but it didn't go entirely according to plan. I brought a bottle of orange juice as my snack on the train, because it was my healthiest option at the store, and it helped stave off starvation until we finally sat down to eat around 2pm. I was just going to order the salad bar, but then A's host mother decided to buy the pizza, and I was sort of expected to eat it, so I did. (That's not a good reason, but it's not entirely a lie. Korean people are weird about not eating food they've prepared or procured for you.) So I started off well, with fruit from the salad bar, but then started in on other things... like pasta salad. Ouch. Then I had a little bit of spaghetti. Then I obliged by eating the three (thin, but three) slices of pizza put on my plate, which wasn't a good feeling. Cola, too, although not nearly as much as I used to drink.

I wasn't even aware of how much I'd actually eaten until I didn't get hungry... for the rest of the day. The friends wanted KFC for dinner around 8, but I didn't even want it. I would have liked a chicken burger (it would have been delicious), but I wasn't hungry at all... the only thing I wanted was a fruit or vegetable to make me feel less gross about lunch. But those were nonexistent at Korean KFC, so I just skipped dinner. I'd apparently had plenty of calories at lunch, because I didn't get hungry until this morning. This was an amazing revelation, because I'm so used to eating when everyone else eats that I've never even imagined skipping a meal because I'm not hungry. The old me would have eaten a chicken burger anyway... not paid attention to my stomach saying "Nope, we're good, thanks."

And somehow I did it again this morning. I was really hungry when I woke up, so I had a granola bar. Then, we were planning to go to a bakery for breakfast, where it would have been easy for me to just get something small (or nothing at all), but instead we ended up eating with A's host family. And surprisingly, it was a delicious Korean breakfast... complete with all my favorite foods. So I ate too much. Not way too much, but enough that I wasn't hungry for lunch. I bought an apple before we left, because I knew I'd be on the train at lunchtime, but it's now almost 7 and I still haven't eaten it. I'm getting hungry for dinner, which is a good feeling.

It's been really nice, the past few weeks, packing snacks and eating normal regulated meals, and generally feeling more in control of my eating habits than I ever have, so this weekend was sort of an upheaval. But a good experience. And I didn't binge on sweets, so I feel pretty okay about it. I've already cut up carrots and strawberries for tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to the structure. I do have a three-day conference coming up this Friday, which means more temptation and another break from my system, but I'm hoping I can do better than this weekend.

And the most exciting news... I achieved my March Madness goal! To review, I'd been hovering around a plateau for a couple of months, so on March 1 I decided my goal would be to really kick it into high gear and try to lose 10 pounds before March 31. And at yesterday's weigh-in, I discovered I'd done it, with two days to spare. I now weigh 179.5, which is actually 10.1 pounds less than I weighed on March 1. AWESOME! Even better, I feel like I accomplished it in a sustainable way. It also meant a new HYC badge! (I think maybe I'm inordinately excited about that, but I don't care!)

March 1: 189.64
March 8: 186.8 (-2.8)
March 15: 183.7 (-3.1)
March 22: 182.8 (-0.9)
March 30: 179.5 (-3.3)

I managed to stay off the scale for the past 4 days, since I asked my host mom to hide it, and I think it was good for me. I'm going to try to weigh in only once a week from now on, although I hid the scale myself, so the temptation will be stronger. I'm not going to try to lose another 10 pounds in April... in fact, I'm going to try not to focus on weight loss as much as before, but rather on cementing and building my new healthy habits. I'll admit that I'm still looking forward... and realizing that even if I only lose 5 pounds a month during April, May, and June, I can be in the 160s when I go home! (And hopefully, thanks to the weight training, ready for a bikini.) My muffin top is definitely shrinking, anyway.

Eek! Another long entry. If you're still reading, I have a request... Can anyone out there in blogland recommend some new workout songs? I usually use hip hop and R&B, but I'm willing to expand my horizons as long as it's got a good beat. The TVs on my treadmills only show Korean TV, so I'm very reliant on my iPod, but I'm starting to get a little tired of my current mix. What do you bop to? Thanks! :)

0.9 pounds? Grr.

It's Saturday, so it's WEIGH-IN DAY. And I'm sad to say, I was pretty disappointed with today's results. Perhaps just because I miraculously managed to lose an average of 3 pounds the past two weeks, so being down 0.9 pounds today sort of paled in comparison. But it's a loss, which I'm happy about, and it still leaves me with 9 more days to lose the last 2.8 pounds to succeed in March Madness. There's a couple things helping me to console myself about not losing the full pound... I just started weight training seriously for the first time in a long time (3x this week), so presumably I'm building muscle at the same time as burning fat, so I'd like to believe I lost 3 pounds but gained 2.1 pounds of muscle (it's entirely possible! :) Also, TOM arrived in the middle of the week, which is when I stopped losing, so I'm hoping to see a big drop on the scale next week when he departs. I've read on a lot of fitness blogs that women have a hard time losing anything during the time of the month, but I've never managed to be good enough on a diet/exercise regimen for an entire month to notice the difference. I guess I can test the theory again next month, with April Madness. (I'll need a new name for it, I think.) 

So today's weight: 182.8

The good news is that I finished my last Week 2 run for C25k today, and it was much easier today than the first and second time I did it, so I'm feeling pretty confident going into Week 3. I know from reading other C25k blogs that it suddenly ramps up in intensity really fast in the middle, so I'm relieved that next week doesn't seem too intense--some 3 minute runs, I think--which I know I can do because I've done them in the not-so-distant past. It really is becoming a habit, even just after these 6 runs, and I'm actually looking forward to Monday, crazy as that sounds. My Dad'll be so proud! I'm thrilled. :) 

3/15 weigh-in: 183.7

I can't believe I almost forgot to make a post to record this week's weight, especially since it was so damn exciting.

First, a little background information. I've hit a plateau in weight loss the past few months. My original goal had been to get down to 180 pounds by Christmas, but I didn't make it. I got down around 190-195, if I remember correctly, but with the cold weather and the money crunch, I was just striving to maintain, especially when I went home. My major problem right now is the temptation toward complacence. Fifty pounds is a big deal, and I'm so much thinner and happier nowadays that I've just sort of been feeling "Well... good enough."

But I want to finish this up. I want to get all the way down. If I get to 150 pounds and I decide it's not for me--that I'd rather eat more and weigh more, then that's fine. But I've got to at least give my slim self a chance. So I instituted March Madness at the beginning of the month, with every intention of losing ten pounds this month, and getting below 180 pounds for the first time since high school. So I've stuck to my exercise schedule like glue for the past two weeks, and I made a couple of diet changes that really seem to be helping--most notably, cutting down on rice and carbs and substituting way more protein. I've also forced myself to eat vegetables I never would have touched before. The first week was awesome, I dropped 2.8 pounds. I was nervous, though, about getting on the scale this morning.

So I almost cried out in happiness when I saw I was under 84 kg! (My scale's metric.) After I did all the math, I'd lost 3.1 pounds since last Saturday. This means I've lost 5.9 pounds in the past two weeks--I'm over halfway there! Joyousness!

I also get paid on Monday, which means I can go back to the gym. I've been doing a lot of research about weight training lately, and I'm going to start over with weight training in earnest, because I've really become convinced about how necessary and helpful hardcore weight lifting can be for helping me lose weight. I'm a little worried about putting on muscle weight, because I'll be disappointed if I can't make my March goal, but it'll be worth it to have all that muscle eating my body fat while I sleep. I'm also going to start looking around for a measuring tape, because if the scale isn't reflecting changes because of weight training, I'm sure the tape will.

It's go time.

Starting Weight (March 2007): 235

March 1: 189.64
March 8: 186.8 (-2.8)
March 15: 183.7 (-3.1)

Weight lost so far: 51.3
Goal Weight: 150
Still to go: 33.7