introductions

Really? Another blog? Well, yeah. There’s several reasons why I’m not sure I’m up to writing the introductory entry I was hoping to write, the most important of which is that I’ve suddenly become terrified that I’m facing a spider infestation. This morning I spotted one, a wee one, on a box in my room, but was too scared to try to crush it. Scared, I guess, that it would suddenly GROW TO 100 TIMES IT’S SIZE AND EAT ME UP! Which was ludicrous, because it was tiny, but I just decided to ignore it. Only to spot another one, tonight, on my door. Is it the same one, making its escape, or the evil brethren of this morning’s apparition? Or worse, offspring. Are they multiplying while I sit here, prepared to crawl into my mouth at night? (I never quite got over that statistic.)

So you can see how that might be disconcerting, to say the least. The reason is that I’m just not feeling up to snuff. As you probably don’t know, today is a special day in South Korea… it’s White Day. On Valentine’s Day in Korea (and Japan too, apparently), girls give chocolates and gifts to their boyfriends. Then, one month later, on White Day, men return the favor–typically threefold. So sadly, despite my amazing weight loss success!!!1!, I am boyfriendless, and thus, chocolateless. Which, in the interests of weight loss, is probably best, but I wouldn’t have minded going off the diet, just today. So instead it’s 8:50pm on a Friday night, and I’m holed up in my bed, reading weight loss/fat acceptance/body image blogs, clicking and clicking from one to to the next, and getting inspired and depressed at the same time. I didn’t even realize that was possible.

Anyway, I’d hoped to write a meaningful and lengthy introspection on my weight loss journey process so far, incorporating some of my reactions to the things I’ve read today, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t want to sleep, because I’m not that tired. I want to eat something really tasty, but probably not enough to get dressed and run to the shop. I want the weekend to be over, which is a terrible way to feel. But weekdays feel good. I get ready, I go to school, I teach, plan lessons, and read the NY Times and blogs, then I come home, workout, shower, nap until supper, eat, watch a movie or read, and then usually go to bed tired. More tired than I would have thought I could possibly be. Then I wake up and do it all over again. It’s true that I was looking forward to the weekend all week, but that was when I thought I had plans–places to go, friends to hang out with, ways to fill my time aside from eating. But I’ve been good for two weeks straight! I’ve lost at least two pounds this week. Why don’t I feel good? I can only hope that the weekend will be far more appealing on Saturday morning.