"I, Brittany, am now a healthy and thin person. I wear a size 8, and I do what healthy and thin people do."
I guess, if you tell yourself something enough times, it will come true. I also enjoy the last part ("I do what healthy and thin people do"), because whenever I'm tempted to eat two meals for social purposes, or a whole box of cookies as a snack, I remember that healthy, thin people (with no unhealthy emotional attachments to food) don't do things like that. And most of the time, that stops me long enough for me to get distracted by something else.
But the most important thing I got out of the book, I think, was a new and profound appreciation for protein. I think, theoretically at least, I'd known that there was this elusive thing called protein, found mostly in meat, that was important for health, but the more I read in the book, the more determined I was to find it. It's elusive, because I usually get fish at least twice a day as my meat, and I don't eat fish, so I probably got zero protein for a lot of my days in South Korea. But all that's changed now. Now that I'm committed to getting protein at every meal (INCLUDING breakfast), I'm willing to slice away at whole fish (eyes still attached) with my chopsticks at 7:30 in the morning. Anything to get that life-giving protein. I've also given up hope that Korea will someday (soon) change its ways and begin eating only raw, un-spicy vegetables, and am forcing myself to eat at least a little of whatever vegetable-like thing is placed before me, and to eat a lot of any of the ones that I actually like. I'm also refusing to eat a bowl full of rice at each meal. In fact, I'm trying to eat very little rice, filling up on the meat and vegetables first, and using that plain white starch only to complete the meal.
The end result? I feel better. I'm eating more at meals than I used to, so I'm less hungry, which means less unprocessed carbohydrate snacking (read: cookies and cakes) to depress and discourage me. I'm discovering, begrudgingly, that some of the things I refused to eat on principle (without having actually tried them), like fish and mushrooms, aren't actually that gross. (I still think mushrooms have a really gross consistency.) I have more energy. I was able to forgo collapsing into bed for an after-school nap almost every day last week, allowing me to exercise while the sun was up and the weather was warm. And... I'm losing weight. What more can I ask?
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The other thing I mentioned briefly in the last entry, but didn't really explain yet, is my new jogging training program. Like I said, I've stuck to my exercise schedule like glue for the past two weeks, but I was starting to get a little bored and frustrated with just jogging everyday. It did help to vary my routes, I've found 2 new different ways to go that involve minimal street crossing and maximal long and flat stretches. But my method, previously, was just to jog for as long as I could until I wanted to quit, and then walk until I felt like jogging again. I knew my heartrate was getting up there, and thus I was burning calories, but it was boring, and I found myself constantly checking my iPod to see what time it was. Then I read about the "Couch to 5k" program in a forum, and checked it out.
I'd previously thought a lot about wanting to run in a 5k with my Dad this summer when I get back to America, mostly just to impress him, and show him, live and in person, how I really am a runner now--his dream for me since high school, and in fairness, my dream for myself. I just didn't think I could ever do it. Despite softball I was in terrible running shape; I could barely get around the bases once without getting out of breath. And my chest was so big that running required at least two sports bras. It just didn't seem feasible. But then I came to Korea, and I just did it. It was hard, and it sucked a lot, but I did it. I ran until I was too out of breath to continue, and then I walked until I could psyche myself up to running again. My first month in Korea was unbelievably hot (worse than Florida, I'd almost say), but almost every day I was out there in a tank top and shorts, pounding the pavement. It was therapeutic, at the time. I had only one friend in the city, 180 new students to get to know and learn to teach, and a brand new family to learn to live with--so getting out of the house daily was a great escape, even if I had to exercise.
I have only very vague memories of those first few weeks of running. Heaving for breath, feeling ready to faint, being terrifically embarrassed at the unabashed stares I received. Those are my only recollections. And I'm not sure when it happened, but all of the sudden, it seemed, I started to look forward to, rather than dread, getting started. My endurance increased in one-second increments. I started to LIKE running.
That's not to say that there weren't setbacks. I quit for as many as three weeks at a time, then felt like I was starting from scratch when I finally pushed myself out there again. My endurance is still pretty piss-poor actually--the most I've ever jogged in a row is I think only about 12 minutes. And some days, when I can't get psyched up for jogging, I tell myself that's okay, I just go out and walk briskly for the 30-40 minutes.
Which brings me full-circle to the problem I faced at the beginning of March Madness. Because I was getting bored, and thus lazy, it was becoming more difficult to push myself toward greater gains in endurance. Then I heard about "Couch to 5k," and now I'm actually training for something, which, at least so far, has made all the difference. Basically, C25k is a program designed to get beginner runners off the couch and to the finish line of a 5k race in 9 weeks. It starts really slow, with intervals of 60 seconds running and 90 seconds walking, which is slower even than I need, but last week I did the Week 1 workout anyway, figuring I'd need the time to get ready for the Week 5 and Week 6 7 minute runs.
The training schedule itself probably isn't anything too special. I've surely looked at and ignored a million of those in my lifetime. What's making it work for me this time are the C25k PODCASTS. I know, I'm totally gay for podcasts, but they really are the best thing ever. The podcasts are created by some random runners, and they're (kinda crappy techno-dance) music mixes, but the creator interrupts to tell you when you should run and when you should walk. So I don't have to be constantly glancing at the iPod and calculating minutes in my head. Which is ideal, because the only way I can really get into a run is if I can get distracted and forget about the time. It's perfect! And it's gotten me pushing myself with every run, and looking forward to running again. (The spring weather helps too.) I'm almost excited for tomorrow... Huzzah!
1 comment:
i really like your blog!!
how long have you been working on this? you've been so successful!
you're inspiring me!!
how's the mantra working? i actually think i may try that! (right before i start eating, or when i get cravings!)
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