Wednesday, September 3, 2008

3/30: "Holler if you like your beat down low..."

Day 3. I rock. 

So today was pretty good. I'm at Dunkin Donuts later than I intended to be, again, but I'm getting everything done. And I did a few short sets of intervals on the treadmill, which I'm proud of. It wasn't the best eating day ever, because of dinner, but I was pretty good otherwise. I'm not even sure what it is I actually shared with Tim, but it didn't seem like a healthy option, and I know I ate more than I needed. So that's why I did a little cardio on a free day, and I feel okay about it. 

Tomorrow's Thursday again, so it means I get to go to good school, which wasn't actually so wonderful last week. It was fine... I just wasn't in a great mood, so I didn't enjoy it as much as I usually do. But I'm really looking forward to the lessons we're doing this week, so I'm feeling good. I do, unfortunately, have a lot more lesson planning to do tomorrow and Friday, but I'll just suck it up and get it done. I do have to go back to Beauty High School on Saturday, I think, so I need to have a lesson ready and at least the titles of my lesson plans for the next 8 times too. Just means I need to suck it up and sit down with the textbook for a solid scanning and planning session... maybe tomorrow during 7th and 8th period, after I'm done teaching. 

And I'm still doing a good job of getting it all done at school, which is nice. I like not having to worry about school when I'm not there. It helps me to be productive outside. It used to be that I would spend so much time worrying about the lesson planning I needed to do but wasn't doing that I wouldn't do anything else. Just sit there in front of the computer (online) or go out and eat with Meghan. Now... the anti-procrastination tricks are working wonders. I stay away from email and Google Chat as much as possible, set alarms in thirty-minute increments, and just force myself to jump in and start working as soon as I get there. I schedule my time, and decide exactly what I need to get done before I can go home. It's great. And by great I mean it sucks, because I have to work a lot while at work, but it feels nice to go home and not have it looming over me. 

I had my TFA informational call this morning, and it was... sort of helpful. I got an email from the recruiter, whose name is Tiffany, offering to set up a call with me so we could ask each other questions. It's for my information-gathering benefit, and nothing like an interview, so no pressure. I asked if I was at a serious disadvantage, being a non math or science person, and she said no. I'm not sure that's true, but hey, thanks. Disappointingly, she never actually DID the program, despite being a recruiter, so I couldn't ask her any questions about her own experience. She asked me why I was interested in closing the achievement gap and TFA, so I told her about working for the Honors College, and at Junior Achievement, and she seemed satisfied with my answer. Then I asked for any general advice about my application which she could offer, so she told me to read all the instructions and the website carefully, which she acknowledged sounded lame, but she swore would be really helpful, because they really do tell you exactly what they're looking for. It seemed that way. I'll spend my free moments this month scouring the website, as I work on my stuff. 

Things have been a bit tense around the old homestead lately, although it's probably all my fault. After host mom upset me on Sunday, I didn't really do a good enough job of conveying to her that I wasn't mad, so I think then she was tiffed. I tried to just be nice and pretend everything was fine on Monday, but there may have been some tension. And lately... bah. It's that time again. I don't really know what time, exactly, but I remember that just one short year ago all the same things were happening. The house has been filled with random family members, food offerings on the tables in the living room, some bowing. Last year I felt compelled (or was compelled, on occasion) to sit out in the living room with the fam, in super awkwardness, for short periods of time, but I've been mostly ignored for the past few days, which is fine by me. If I weren't here, they'd be doing their own thing, so let's just have it that way, shall we? I'm uncomfortable being foisted into these things. You alternate between either going out of your way to accommodate me and talk to me in Korean that just makes me uncomfortable, and ignoring me and leaving me to fend for myself in a situation I don't understand, both of which are taxing for you too. So let's just leave each other alone, eh? Sounds good. 

And it was, but last night at 11pm the crazy little kids (and my host siblings) were running through the house shrieking at the top of their lungs. Granted, I could hear them when they were in their room with the door shut, that's one thing, but then they'd run through the house to the stairs (which are right outside of my room), and pound up them like a herd of elephants... screaming elephants. Then pound back down just a minute later. Over and over again. I climbed into bed around 10:15 yesterday, and could tell I was going to have a hard time falling asleep because of the two hour afternoon nap. But I just laid awake listening to them until 11, when I finally went out and made a helpless look at host mom and grandma, who were chatting on the couch oblivious to this. Finally they were like "oh, is it loud?" ~rolls eyes~

Why are these kids awake at 11pm? Why are you letting them scream when you know I'm sleeping and I have to go to school in the morning? Why are they still awake when they have to go to school in the morning? It's Korean culture! Of course. 

Well... stuff it. Eat your live octopus and white rice at every meal, but shut up after 11pm. I know, I sound awful. And I don't really hate them or feel as passive-aggressive as I might seem. I just hate when my routine gets out of whack, and loud little kids are annoying. It's because of stupid Tim and his nice cozy studio apartment... filling me with jealousy for what I could have had. So yeah. I think it's someone's death anniversary maybe? (I think this is host dad's brother and wife that are visiting, who have a boy and a girl. Host uncle actually speaks perfect English, as I mentioned last year at this time when I met him. There's some other random people too.) Or... it might just be that Chuseok is coming up in... two weeks or so? That's Korean Thanksgiving, if you remember last year. Honoring the ancestors, etc., etc. So things probably won't get back to normal for at least a month, perplexingly. But hey, I'm only here for about four more (give or take a week or two), so I should make the best of it. Random acts of kindness. 

I didn't nap today, so hopefully I can manage to be tired enough to fall asleep soon, since it's about 10:15. I'm thinking about running out to grab a bottle of water from the store, but then I'll have to answer "Where are you going?" again, like I did when I left for Dunkin Donuts at 8:40. I just looked at host mom like, "What?" She's never usually home when I go, she's always at work. So I said, "Dunkin Donuts," so she started lecturing me about how I shouldn't eat them, and I won't keep losing weight if I do. Really, suck it. Do you speak English? Will you understand if I tell you I'm going there to work on some things because it's quiet and I can focus, and I won't be bothered? I'm an adult. If I want to go out, I'm going out. Why do you need to know where? Argh. 

Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful day. 

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