Currently I have a picture of John Krasinski (Jim Halpert) on my desktop background, but I assure you, it's not just for aesthetic reasons. The Office tends to make me think a lot about relationships, and the future, and all of that. I wish I had more time to discuss it now, but maybe I'll edit and add to this update tonight while I'm at work. Actually, I have quite a list of things to do at work tonight:
Clean the office (not The Office, unfortunately)
Learn Hangeul (completely)
Re-read the Fulbright handbook
Write a short story
But no worries--I have ten and a half hours to do it all. I got plenty of sleep last night and today, so that shouldn't really be a problem. The biggest problem will be not eating everything in sight all night, which is what I tend to do. Although I guess I shouldn't blame myself, because I don't eat anything during the day when I'm on nights--I'm always asleep. So it makes sense that I try to eat three meals while I'm on. I never thought of it that way. But it doesn't work that way tonight, because I ate the equivalent of twelve meals already today, and now I don't get to go to the gym, because I just realized it closes at nine. Grr. That means I should go tomorrow morning, which is something I really don't want to do. But it might be better, because then I'll be walking home a little later, and it'll be a little sunnier, and it won't be as depressing. Buuut... Frank might give me a ride home in the morning, which would be awesome. I'll have to remember to ask.
Anyway, just had an interesting chat with Kate about L.A. My feelings about going to Korea have been very rollercoaster-y, but at least for the last few weeks, I've been very positive about it. Just having the pressure of the medical forms removed and receiving emails from the coordinator and all of that has made me feel better, and I'm actually getting excited. I always believed that I was the kind of go-get-'em person who would be willing to and in fact really enthusiastic about the prospect of living in a different country and embracing a new culture and language. And I'm really excited to teach! I don't know what I'll do (honestly) if I find that teaching isn't as fulfilling for me as I imagine it will be, because I've spent literally my entire life thinking that it was the one career that is really perfect for me. But I'm not going to worry about it. I'm sure that at times it will be really really hard, and really lonely, and really frustrating. But I have to (and want to) believe that it's going to be an amazing experience. I have to go into it with a completely positive attitude, so that's what I'm going to do.
And every time I look at the Teach for America website, I get more excited about that! Today I discovered that one of the TFA placements is LA, so I could actually end up being near Kate! I've never actually been even remotely interested in even going to California, let alone living there, but several things recently have changed that. I think I can probably tell what my three choices will be--Hartford, CT (near Amy), LA (near Kate), or somewhere GA-NC-SC (near family). I'd always assumed I would pick someplace New Englandy, because I know I want to live there, but I guess I know that when I settle down in the States it'll be there, so it might be nice to spend two years living somewhere else, somewhere I otherwise wouldn't consider. I'm just really excited about all of my goals. I'm excited about going to Korea, I'm excited about TFA, I'm excited about grad school, and I'm excited about settling down. I guess it's good that I'm looking forward to my life.
I should shower, but I'm going to write more tonight. About... laziness, relationships, and passions.
and in honor of my new blog title:
snow patrol: 'signal fire'
the perfect words never crossed my mind
'cause there was nothing in there but you
i felt every ounce of me screaming out
but the sound was trapped deep in me
all i wanted just sped right past me
while i was rooted fast to the earth
i could be stuck here for a thousand years
without your arms to drag me out
there you are standing right in front of me
there you are standing right in front of me
all this fear falls away to leave me naked
hold me close 'cause i need you to guide me to safety
no i don't want to wait forever
no i don't want to wait forever
in the confusion and the aftermath
you are my signal fire
the only resolution and the only joy
is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes
there you are standing right in front of me...
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