No, I don't want to wait forever.

So I was going to edit my other post, but I reckon I'll just make a new one, as it's now technically Monday. Man, it's pretty ridiculous how obsessed I am with the song 'Signal Fire.' Frank and I have most of the stuff that needs to be done done. Well, actually, we have everything that needs to be done done. Still on my list I have hangeul practice, re-reading the Fulbright handbook, updating this blog, and writing a short story.

I really (really) seriously want to force myself to update this blog everyday. I guess this actually ties back to my goal of being a writer. I mean, I know writing will never be my only occupation. I know that I want to teach--it's what I've always wanted to do, and I'm always going to make a job of that. But I really think I want to be a writer. But I'm a writer who doesn't actually like to write, who dreads sitting down in front of a blank screen, who can't force myself to write every day (or even every other day, or every week). I want to be a writer but I don't write. And who knows? Jeanne thinks I'm talented--talented enough for Iowa, but maybe it's just been a couple of flukes. I mean, I've only written four stories: 1. Shine, 2. Reunion, 3. From Cairo, With Love, 4. Measure Twice. A combined total of like 8,000 words. And that's it. But I feel like the goal of being a writer is something I'd have to work at, slowly. I could start by forcing myself to write in this every day, even if it was just to get me to sit down in front of the computer. I ought to look for one of those writing exercise books. Anything to get me to type a few words.

Man, I'm getting tired. Only, I'm not, really. I shouldn't be, anyway. It's 3:20am, but I slept plenty last night and had a nap this afternoon to get ready for this.

Oh yeah, that's what I was going to say: I was thinking today (well, yesterday) about what it is that separates the truly gifted and wonderful apart from the rest of us. Kate suggested that she was considering getting a menial job to find a Jim, but I proposed that Jim Halperts are really John Krasinskis, and John Krasinskis don't work in menial jobs--they take chances. That's why I admire Kate so much... she's just going to move to L.A. and try to make it. All I have to do is submit, that's it. Pay for some postage. I need a plan.

I need to submit once every two months. I'll start with the three stories I've got. This week I'll spend a lot of time with... 'Reunion,' I guess. It was the first I wrote, so I should submit it first. I'll work on it for a week, really hard, and then I'll send it off to three mags: Black Warrior Review (Contest), Redivider, and So to Speak. I'll plan on sending it off June 1. In the meantime, while I'm waiting to be rejected from them, I'll work on 'Measure Twice' and something new. Then July 1, I'll submit 'Measure Twice' to three different mags. On June 1, I'll also submit poetry to NOR and for the MMM contest. Delusionally, I still think I'm a poet. I wish I'd brought my Billy Collins book with me.

So yeah, getting serious about writing. That makes me happy.