warning. watergun. hands up. streetfight. arrest.

Sorry it's been awhile. I was gone all weekend at the Fulbright conference. I was pretty negative going into it, and I'm just as negative afterwards. I didn't actually find it very useful. The lesson plan exchange was really half-assed. The small groups were kinda dumb, although I learned how to stay "Shut up" in Korean in a more vulgar way that got the students' attention much better. The general theme was: If there's something about your Korean life you don't like, you're going to have to change it. Korea won't change for you. Which is a very proactive way of thinking that I appreciate, and if nothing else, the conference convinced me to make some changes to the way I've been working at NMS so far.

But first, I'm getting all emotional. It's probably because I'm listening to Westlife's "You Raise Me Up." I don't actually know much about Westlife--where are they from? I thought they were British, but this website's trying to tell me they're Irish. And also, do they every write their own songs? It seems like everything I hear is a cover. I'd appreciate some clarification on this ASAP, preferably from Westlife themselves, kthxbye.

Or it could be my students. I'm not naive, I'd like to believe. I know that my propensity for giving out a lot of candy contributes greatly to my popularity. By which I mean, I know that I'm popular almost entirely because I give out candy. At least the discipline situation has improved greatly. After the same class reduced me to tears for a second time, I decided something needed to be done. It's not ever their fault really... I can't blame them for talking when I can't control them. I don't blame myself for not being able to control them--I can't speak Korean, and I'm not an experienced teacher. But still, the situation was rough.

So my co-teacher joined us for class yesterday and today, and I devised a new discipline system, helped greatly by my presents from Amy, which were amazing. Now, when you are talking while I'm talking...

First time: WARNING
Second time: I spray you with a water gun (best birthday present I received).
Third time: You stand with your hands up in the back of the classroom for five minutes.
Fourth time: Streetfight. (No really, that's what I said. You have a streetfight with Miss Camp. They were appropriately scared.)
Fifth time: I put you in handcuffs (second best birthday present) and send you to the teacher's room.

The best part was that I had to explain it in mixed Korean/English and with pictures. I'll upload some pictures I took of my explanatory drawings later, but they were pretty excellent. I've decided that the boy who made me cry by talking constantly but then chased me to apologize honorifically is actually a really good kid who doesn't understand English at all. I really learned his name and the other troublemaker's name, so now that I can call them out more easily. We only got to the watergun phase yesterday and today, which is good. I would really hesitate to make them stand with their hands up anyway, and just the threat of the watergun is better for shutting them up than my dirty looks were. And me hanging the handcuffs on the board was priceless. But yeah, the two troublemakers were, if not angels, at least much better, and they actually participated today. I guess it's true--just learning their names and not hitting them goes a long way toward relationship building. I even apologized to one boy (SB) for having to squirt him with the water gun, and he said... "that's okay."

They were all in a sassy mood because Mr. Kim was there. We've effectively set up an adversarial relationship between me and him, although he doesn't see it. The students try to win me over by complaining about him, and were actively lamenting his presence today in Korean. And they did behave a little better because he was there, but I think it'll still be okay next week when he doesn't come. I gave the boys a hard time after class about why they act good when he's there and bad when he's not (thankfully JK was able to translate that), but they swore NO- that was not the case, and said that "지금부터" (from now on) they'll be good. I won't hold my breath. Today's lesson was about feelings, and the game went surprisingly well.

But anyway, back to the relationship between candy and my popularity: Five of the second grade boys came in to visit today during a free period, and four of them asked for candy, which I gave them. I've got plenty. But JK, my favorite boy at NMS, made a big deal about wanting to explain something, and then took the K-E dictionary and spent ages looking up a word so that he could explain "I... good heart. Candy... not eat." I think what he was saying was that he wasn't just saying hello and visiting for candy, unlike the other boys. I suppose he might also have meant he is afraid that eating too much candy will be bad for his heart. Whatever. The other boys weren't to be put to shame... they offered such gems as "I love you." "You Jeong Jae-Yeong girlfriend." "Beautiful." It's true that I'm skeptical of the validity of these bribed compliments, but I'll concede that they're working with their admittedly small English vocabularies. It's still cute, anyway.

I've been pretty devastated lately, since I missed my third grade class for the past two weeks, but Mrs. O told me they've been lamenting not seeing me too. I was skeptical, and suggested they only missed the candy, but she insisted they missed my class. I don't know why--I'm sure they don't actually learn anything well, but alas--I try. So I'm excited for next week! If only all days at Noan were like this, I would definitely want to extend. Next week is the third grade pizza party, so hopefully that will make things better too. And by this time tomorrow, I hope to have Cyworld (the Korean equivalent of MySpace), which all my students have.

I was just interrupted in blogging by two third grade girls who wanted to make a really valiant effort to talk to me. There was a lot of fast talking in Korean, but also a lot of consulting cellphone dictionaries, which I appreciated. I understood roughly 12% of what they were saying to me, but it was okay.

Okay, time to clean up and pack up. Sorry this wasn't very coherent.