You look sad...

Today was really kind of terrible, up until about 12:45. I'm not sure why it was so terrible... I woke up before the alarm, fully rested, at 5:40, to head to the gym, and had a pretty good workout. I'm sore, which is good, but far less sore than I was earlier this week, which is really good. I had a nice breakfast and arrived to school without incident. I was all prepped for class second period... and that's where things started to go awry.

The second graders (who if you remember, were last year's first graders), are so annoying. They're chatty, obnoxious, and disrespectful. The boys are especially chatty, and they don't care about anything, but the girls are obnoxious and terrible in their own way. They're the bane of all the teachers' existence, and they also happen to be my co-teacher's homeroom. She's completely fed up with them, and I'm just tired of it. They're lazy bad students, and the only way I can have a chance of getting them to get involved and volunteer is to work my butt off to try to make it fun somehow, but by the same token... they don't deserve me putting in all that effort, because they don't appreciate anything. But if I punish them by not letting them play a lot of games and just making them do work, then they're mad and even less likely to participate and more likely to talk. It seems to be an uphill struggle, not just for me, but for all the teachers.

But whatever, right? I only have to see them twice a week, for 45 minutes a day. Then they leave and I get to see my third graders, who are the epitome of wonderful. But I was just irritable after class, and my co-teacher kept talking to me about that demonstration class, and I just wanted to finish my lesson plans for Monday and not have to talk. I love her to pieces, but sometimes I'm just in the mood to be super-cheerful, I want to relax and do my lesson plans (or read my blogs) and chill out. So today I was really passive-aggressive, which was a shame, because she's such a wonderful lady. I'm not proud of it, but I couldn't help it. I can't handle it when people are like "Gosh! Cheer up!"

So yeah, I apparently didn't do a good job of hiding my irritation at lunch, because some students noticed. I was hiding after lunch in my English classroom, trying to finish up my lesson plans (which I've since given up on completely), when one of my favorite students, HW, came into the room. At first I assumed he came to play cards or something, because that's what they typically do in my classroom, but then he just stood next to my desk, and I determined he wanted to talk to me. Surprising. Lots of students want to talk to me, I'm sure, but few are willing to speak all that English. (He's a quiet kid who never volunteers or talks in class, but I know he's really smart, because every once in awhile, after class and everyone's gone, he'll ask me an awesome question, like "What's the difference between a king and an emperor?")

So today he started with, "You look... sad." And I said I was fine, but he wasn't giving up, so I explained that the 2nd graders are badly behaved, so I was annoyed. And he stood there, formulating, for almost a full minute, but I'm glad I didn't doubt him or interrupt, because then he started speaking in complete and almost grammatically perfect sentences. "The second graders are bad. I know. So, you must punish them." I almost did a double-take. I knew he was smart, but it also takes phenomenal bravery to converse with the foreigner by yourself. And we did it for about almost 20 minutes, consulting the internet dictionary every once in a while. He gave me some advice about my love life, explained that I'm too nice to second grade--that's why they take advantage of me, and told me about the students from my other school that he met at the winter English camp. He was, in conclusion, the most adorable thing in the world. I teased that if the second graders didn't start behaving well I would go back to America, and then he got super serious face and told me how sad he'd be if I left. "If you go... I will cry. I want to... no, wait... I want you... to stay." It was so cute I almost cried.

I don't know, it was just a nice moment. He doesn't play basketball at lunchtime, so I haven't had lots of other time for bonding with him, and because he's not outspoken in class, I might never have known about his wonderful English skills if he hadn't gone out of his way to come find me today, and not given up on the near-impossible task of communicating clearly. But he did, because he's a really great kid.

Which segues well into what I was going to say next, which is... I'm getting sad about leaving. Not really, I suppose, because I also only teach that wonderful class twice a week for 45 minutes. I genuinely look forward to teaching the 3rd grade classes every time, at both schools, but they only make up 6 out of my 14 hours. And the other classes usually tax my patience and offer very little pleasantness. This is why I wanted to teach high school when I first came... I like older kids. I think the prime age is third grade middle school and first grade high school, because after that they're pretty set in their ways, and they're a little scary. But I formed most of my personality for my life in 8th grade. I just don't like younger kids... There are exceptions--I have at least one really good student in almost all of my classes, but otherwise they're just immature. They're not my style. 

So is it worth staying in Korea after all of my friends have left just to have another half-year with the third graders? No, obviously. But still... it's sad. Most teachers say they remember their first ever students, and I'll certainly remember mine. Especially HW. :)