My Visionboard

I can't remember where I first heard about vision boards (somewhere on the internet, I'm sure), but I had no idea what they were. So I did what I always do in these situations... I Googled "what is a vision board", and came up with several nice links. If you're interested, here's a nice explanation. The basic idea, anyway, is to cover a surface with images that represent the things/goals you really want in life, and then to keep it somewhere you'll see it very often, so as to maintain your focus and passion toward acquiring/achieving those things. They're not just for weight loss, obviously. I'm creating a virtual vision board, because I don't have the stacks of magazines or a color printer, and also because I'm much more a virtual person than a print one. Anyway, here goes...

Obviously, it would be nice to look just like her. But that's not actually why I included this picture. One of the things that has made my life difficult during The Fat Period is my really huge chest. I've always had a large chest, since puberty, but when I started to really pack on the pounds, I feel like my chest grew preternaturally. At one time, I was buying 44 DDDD bras. Since high school, there's only been one or two bras at the major department stores that would even fit me, and they were pretty flimsy. Once I discovered Lane Bryant, things became a little easier, but they still only carried my style (in store) in one or two styles. Because my chest size fluctuated a lot, I never had many bras that fit perfectly. And I haven't had a bra that wasn't black, beige, or red in... well, I'm not sure I've ever had one. And I want it! I want cute little patterny and lacey bras. I want my bras to be cute period... not massive things that threaten children or make really funny helmets. My dream would be to be able to shop at Victoria's Secret--where I've previously had no options. The last time I bought bras (in February), the lady measured me at a 40DD... and they fit okay. But I want to be smaller. I'm not sure how much they'll shrink from losing weight, but I'm going to do as much as possible before considering surgery (which scares me to death). But the past few weeks I've had some really strange back pain that's reminded me of non-cosmetic reasons I might consider it.

Although my visionboard deals primarily with weight loss, because that's the area of my life I'm most focused on right now, I've found that as I start to get one area of my life more under control, the others follow suit. At least a little. So this pig represents my efforts to get my financial life under control as well.

I've been looking for a celebrity body crush to covet for a long time. I'm naturally attracted to tall, super-thin, and consequently small-chested people (exhibit a: Keira Knightley), but I've recently come to accept that I'll never look like her. My body type is determinedly funnel shaped, and I'm pretty sure my chest isn't going to magically shrink to AA. (I'd be ecstatic if I just managed to get down to a C, or even a D, but it remains to be seen whether that's possible without surgery.) So I've been in search of someone who isn't stick thin, but a little curvy, and fairly large-chested. This is difficult, because I don't have any idea what size celebrities are, but I'm going to go with Drew Barrymore. (ETA: Sorry, Jessica Alba. Drew just does it for me. I hope we can still be friends.) So I'll look at these picture for a reminder of how I can look once my chest shrinks a bit more, I lose those last few inches of stubborn remaining tummy muffin, and I tone up my arms and back.

Truthfully, I'm not entirely sure what this picture represents... I mean, I'd like to look like her, and I'd like to wear this dress, but I can't at my current weight, so I guess that's good enough. I guess it's a reminder that, once I lose weight, I'll no longer have to dread big events like weddings and job interviews, because not only will I be able to find dresses and suits more easily, but I'll just feel a hundred times more confident in them. Nowadays I'm actually looking forward to one of my friends tying the knot, because it's so much fun to look at bridesmaid dresses, and I'm like a little girl getting excited about dressing up for the first time.

One of the most exciting moments in my weight loss progress so far was going into a Gap Outlet while I was home and purchasing a pair of size 14 "long and lean" jeans. It's been so long since I owned a pair of jeans that wasn't Venezia that I'd almost forgotten what it was like. And although those size 14s are now already too big, I'm letting them hang there as a constant reminder of what I have to look forward to... having a couple pairs of cute jeans, in multiple styles, to pull on anytime.

A few years back, one of my close friends lost a lot of weight (probably at least 60 pounds). When I saw her for the first time in a year and a half, it was a shock, since I hadn't known she was losing weight. She looked amazing, but the one thing that stuck with me was especially how great she looked in little girlshort panties. I imagine I'll look better in just about any panties once I get rid of the last of this muffin top, but I'm especially looking forward to buying a pair of these. Especially when I get her abs, I'll just stand in front of the mirror and look at my cute little stomach and panties. (Four years of wearing granny underwear has apparently taken a toll on me.)

I went on the first cruise of my life while I was home in January, and it was absolutely a blast. I think it might be my ideal vacation. The only thing I regretted was that I didn't make much use of the pool deck... I only went swimming at night. Because I was shy about looking fat in my bathing suit. But once I reach goal weight, I'm going to take another cruise, and I won't leave the poolside until... well... the bars open. :)

**I'll be adding to this throughout the week. What are the images that inspire you? I'm looking for ideas. And if you decide to make one, link to it here so I can check out yours! :)