8/30: The Passion of Me

Another day almost all wrapped up. Why is it so hard to form healthy habits? All kinds of terrible things are "habit-forming"... why can't good clean livin' be one of them? What can compare to that natural high of crossing the last item off of one's to-do list (which I'm about to do in about 10 minutes)? 

Today was a surprisingly good day. I got up early and lifted weights, despite only getting about 6 hours of sleep. I didn't nap, and got more done at school than I expected, so I'm completely prepared for tomorrow's classes. I even made some decent progress updating my resume (just imagine the accent marks, that's what I'm doing) for the TFA application. And today at school I did a little Googling and came up with a few websites that offer writing prompts. So far no amazing ones that I know will inspire me to literary greatness, but things that will at least get me typing for 20-30 minutes a day on a regular basis. Here's the first one. It's a little unintentionally pompous, and I'm not editing to take that edge off, because 1) it's not worth editing, because it has no future, and 2) this isn't about editing, this is about the sheer act of creation. If you don't want to read it, don't. I won't hold it against you. :) 

What are you most passionate about? Write a brief description describing why you answered the way you did and list specific examples of what you are doing to pursue your passion. 

My biggest passion is improving myself. I've always been a big proponent of Gandhi's philosophy: "Be the change you wish to see in the world." In my limited life experience, I've learned one thing... It's almost impossible to change another human being, their minds or their habits. Nor, in fact, do I believe we should be trying. We have a difficult enough task in governing our own selves without presuming to know what is best for others. Thus, I've always focused most enthusiastically on the task of improving myself and becoming the best person I can possibly be. This has been my vague hope, my formless goal, for at least three years now, but only recently have I started to formulate something that approximates a systematic approach.

Despite not having always been a Christian, I've always still tended to take Jesus Christ as an example of perfect living. This isn't unreasonable... I live in a society that is informed strongly by Judeo-Christian values and ethics. And I've always been obsessed with character in literature, with Jesus being the epitome of the perfect being. So although I have what I think are my own perceptions of what makes a "good person," they happen to conform almost perfectly to the Bible's prime example of ideal (and unattainable) human perfection. So likely these aren't my own ideas at all, but internalizations of societal norms. Still, I don't really struggle with where these ideas come from. They seem natural to me, engraved on my conscience.

I want to be well-informed and well-read, intellectually aware and curious. I want to be a hard worker, not a procrastinator, someone who can be trusted to exceed expectations on a project. I want to be a sensitive, kind, and thoughtful friend, who goes out of her way to make people feel comfortable and special, and never forgets a birthday. I want to live modestly and manage my money well. I want to be physically healthy, fit and comfortable in my body but not obsessed with it. I want to feel fulfilled in my job, to serve others and work towards ending injustice. I want to feel the peace that accompanies the knowledge that one is on the right track.

Accomplishing these goals, becoming an ideal version of myself, is my greatest passion.

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See? Uninteresting, right? But perhaps more interesting than a timeline of my day, and it kept me clacking at the keyboard for the requisite half hour. Success.

Oh, funny story: I did a lesson on the meanings of American gestures at my co-teacher's request, and one of the ones I taught them was crossing your fingers and putting them behind your back to indicate that you're lying. So now one of my boys, who is hysterical, thinks it's super-funny every day to say "Wow... Miss Camp. So beautiful!" and then slowly and exaggeratedly cross his fingers and swing them around behind his back. Funny guy.