Tuesday, September 9, 2008

narrative re-structuring

Thank you immensely to the people who cheered me up after my slightly emo last entry. :) I was still feeling blah from TOM, I think, but I'm feeling much better now. I've found my smile, for sure.

I'm downright EXCITED about Baby Tea Leaves's Hot for the Holidays Challenge starting yesterday! I've been trying to decide what weight loss goal I want to set for myself over these three months. I'm thinking I need to be very conservative, because I'm starting to understand that it's going to take a lot of hard work and patience to get rid of these last 20 pounds. I've been batting a thousand with exercise and eating almost perfectly for two weeks now, and the scale adamantly refuses to do anything at all. That's not true, sometimes it goes up a pound, just to spite me. I lost the 8 or so pounds that I'd gained during vacation, and have been hovering right at 177 for the past two weeks.

Like I've said ad nauseam... I'm really satisfied with the way I look in my clothes right now. I'm wearing a pair of jeans today that I even feel pretty sexy in. When I'm out of clothes, I can see the trouble spots very clearly, but I'm really starting to wonder what it will take to address them. I guess that's where my last 20 pounds of body fat is hiding, and now that I've come this far, I might as well finish off the remaining defenders. (I imagine that they've adopted a siege mentality, and interval training is my primary attack mode lately.) But I get it... it's not going to be easy. I have to exercise harder, and not get complacent and let myself snack.

So... I'm shooting for 8 pounds, which is just over half a pound a week, and should be completely do-able. It's only a drop in the hat out of the 500 we're trying to lose together, but I'm determined to at least accomplish my little goal. And it'll put me in the 160s, which I suspect I might discover will be a good stopping point for me. But the best indicator for me will be how my jeans are fitting. I suspect that part of the reason why weight hasn't been budging is that I've been lifting seriously for awhile now, so I must be forming at least some heavy muscles. I can feel the difference in how my tightest pair fit between a month ago when I first bought them and now, so hopefully I'll keep feeling that change. I want my muffin top to go away and my chest to shrink one more cup size, I don't care so much about seeing any particular number on the scale. Still, I need to have a goal, and I need to keep weighing in to make sure I don't creep up without knowing it. 

I ate almost perfectly today, which was a nice surprise, as I've been fighting the urge to snack for the past couple of weeks, and I even did a set of intervals on the treadmill that I wasn't planning on. I was so sopping wet when I finished. It was equally gross and rewarding. Today I was doing what I always do lately... lamenting that losing the last 20 pounds is so much harder than the first sixty, when I realized something that I should have realized a long time ago obviously. Some people only have to lose 20 pounds. Some people start at my weight. I could be one of those people. This doesn't have to be the last battle of my weight loss war. I could be one of those people with "oh, just about 20 pounds to drop." I certainly don't mean to be dismissive, I know, from personal experience, how hard it is to lose ANY amount of weight. Especially if you're struggling with healthy eating issues.

But I just always thought of myself as obese... 80 pounds overweight, and was trying to keep dredging motivation out of this mindframe. It doesn't have to be that way. I'm now just overweight. I'm a young, active person. I'm a little chubby. 

"I'm just looking to drop a few pounds," she said breezily, is how my new weight-loss narrative starts. 

Okay, cool kids... how are YOU doing? :) How determined are you to be Hot for the Holidays? 


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I actually joined another Christmas challenge. I said I wanted to lose 15 pounds (which is about a pound a week), and again, is completely obtainable. Small steps!!

Anonymous said...

Briy, I'm responding here to the comment you left on my blog. *grin*
But I happen to be in love with your idea of a Virtual Party -- what a fantastic, fun idea!!! Will you host it? Pick a date for the party, make up some banners that people can post on their blogs, and then you can post the party review. I know -- how sweet of me to volunteer you for all the hard work! haha! We can all submit photos of us in our party clothes, those fabulous outfits that we've worked so hard to look so hot in. Oooo! I love it!

Anonymous said...

And now for a real comment. :)

I, too, am excited about the Hot for the Holidays Challenge!! I know that the overall goal is to lose poundage, but I'm really more concerned right now with toning up.

I'm not too upset about my actual number on the scale -- I just don't want it to go up! -- but I can clearly see that what I truly need to do to change my body shape and look great/feel confident in a fabulous party dress is to tone up my extremely puny musculature. (Although I do expect to contribute to the 500-pounds-lost goal.)

I've noticed that others who weigh as much as I do, sometimes even more than I do, are reporting jeans sizes smaller than mine. I'm convinced the difference is in the muscle tone...or the height. Are you, by any chance, six feet tall? haha!

And so ends my post within a comment. :)